How "Failing" the RKC was a Success

Yup, I'm one of "those" people. You know… the ones that people whisper about and sometimes even point. You've heard we exist. Even the website says so. However, have you ever really known one though? Well if you don't; you do now now. I know what else some of you might be thinking. I'm writing this because I failed and now I have passed at a later date. That's not the case either. In fact, I haven't even signed up to retake the RKC. I'll be honest… I'm writing this for me and me only. I need to get this out in to the universe so I can heal from it, accept it and continue to move on. That's it. So here's a little background so you know what I mean by fail. I'm 45 and have been a trainer for seven years. I'm a decent athlete. I work out and do BJJ. I even played baseball in college. Fail for me at the time meant leaving San Diego without my RKC certification (August 2011). I passed everything and elected not to take the snatch test due to an injured shoulder. I also elected not to take the snatch test for the same reason three months later. I even applied for a medical exception. The point is, I felt like a failure.  Here's the cool part for me… after feeling sorry for myself for a while, after doing the "poor me" syndrome, after feeling embarrassed, after feeling fat, slow and heavy…I realized something had happened and was happening. What had happened was I finally reached a point where my body could no longer hide the fact that I had no true foundation. I had been "bluffing" this whole damn time. I had let my ego dictate my training for years and didn't even realize it on a conscious level. What do I mean by that…. I had cut corners… if there as an exercise that had a beginner, intermediate and advanced level, I just automatically assumed my body was ready for the advanced so I skipped the other two. Also, I always felt like if I didn't work to exhaustion for most workouts, I wasn't really "working" out. That's the ego in my opinion. What was happening was I was "tearing down my house/lack of foundation" over the next 6 months beginning at the end of August. I was using massage, acupuncture, supplements and even a therapist to let my body heal emotionally and physically. I was clearing out years of inflammation and old emotional wounds. I was starting over from scratch basically. I was redefining how strong felt to me and what it meant to be strong. I began to change my definition of working out (I'm still redefining this as I type this). Along the way, I hired a trainer (Valerie Hedlund) to guide me down the new path as I believe one day I will carry the initials of RKC next to my name. So you see, had I not gone to the RKC and "failed", chances are I would have very few and possibly none of these new awarenesses. Without these new awarenesses, I would not have the tools to continue to be successful with my own transformation as well as with my current clients and the new ones to come. Thus, it was a huge success for me even though I am not an RKC. I love the paradox. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Make it a great day. Jeff